The Onion @ FIX University

Univalle Radio

Xavier University Radio

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter - Online

The Best College Radio Stations

• • VIDEO
  • ON TV
  • SPORTS
  • POLITICS
  • NEWS BEAT
• • A.V. CLUB
  • STORE
  • DATING
  • CONTESTS

• • 
  • 

• IN THE NEWS
• • Bumbling Spy
  • George R.R. Martin
  • Barack Obama
  • Iowa Caucus
  • Last Updated 11:20 AM

• 

  Man Suspected Of Being Bumbling Spy

  WASHINGTON—Citing his erratic social behaviors, sudden unexplained disappearances, nondescript occupation, and habit of accidentally walking off piers while pretending to read newspapers, acquaintances of 37-year-old Jeff Walther said Thursday they ... more »

• NEWSWIRE

  • Huh, College Friend A Republican

  • Boy Scouts Celebrate Proud History Of Preparing Teens For Not Having Cool Friends

  • Infographic: Best Debate Moments

  • Unsung Heroes: Levi McShane

  • American Voices: Fracking Causing Earthquakes?

  • [audio] New Prescription-Only Sandwich Extra Delicious

  • TV Listings: Zero To Hero

  • Corrections: We're All Doomed

  • 'These Last Two Are Gonna Be Real Turds,' George R.R. Martin Assures Fans

  • NHL Tries To Pass Off Commercial Flight As Flyover For Winter Classic

  • Obama Openly Asks Nation Why On Earth He Would Want To Serve For Another Term

  • American Voices: Some Organics Not Green

  • [audio] Dead Werewolf Apparently Allergic To Peanuts

  • 600-Pound Butter Cow Sculpture Wins Iowa Caucus

  • Unsung Heroes: Cam Wright

  • Presidential Fitness Test Now Awarded To Any Kid Who Can Eat Without Sweating

  • Stockwatch: Google Inc. (GOOG)

  • Man Thinks It’s About Time He Went Back To Website He Just Visited 15 Seconds Ago

  • Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 3, 2012

  • [video] Surgeon General: Smoking Fine As Long As You Only Do It When You Drink

  • American Voices: President Signs Controversial Defense Bill

  • Prime Minister Of Norway Gets Laid

  • Opinion: My Kids Are Learning How To Drive…Me Up The Wall! by Roger Dudek

  • [audio] Woman With Six Dogs Resents Non-Dogs

  • TV Listings: Ivy League Horse

• “There is simply no science I will ever choose to believe in that supports that idea.”

  AMERICAN VOICES:Fracking Causing Earthquakes?

• New Prescription-Only Sandwich Extra Delicious

• 

  'These Last Two Are Gonna Be Real Turds,' George R.R. Martin Assures Fans

• 

  NHL Tries To Pass Off Commercial Flight As Flyover For Winter Classic

• 

  Obama Openly Asks Nation Why On Earth He Would Want To Serve For Another Term

• "This is precisely why I've stuck all these years to synthetic carrots."

  AMERICAN VOICES: Some Organics Not Green

• Dead Werewolf Apparently Allergic To Peanuts

• 

  600-Pound Butter Cow Sculpture Wins Iowa Caucus

• 

  Presidential Fitness Test Now Awarded To Any Kid Who Can Eat Without Sweating

• Most accidents occur at home, so stay safe this week by living on the streets of a distant city.

• 

  VIDEO: Surgeon General: Smoking Fine As Long As You Only Do It When You Drink

• "Yes, but to be fair, he gave up because it was easier."

  AMERICAN VOICES:President Signs Controversial Defense Bill

• 

  Prime Minister Of Norway Gets Laid

• by Roger Dudek

  My Kids Are Learning How To Drive…Me Up The Wall!

• Woman With Six Dogs Resents Non-Dogs

• 

  UFC Fan Knows What All Those Guys' Names Are

• 

  ON TV: 2011 Top Story: Japanese Nuclear Reactor Totally Safe Says Two-Headed Plant Official

• "It's 2012? Then there's still time!"

  AMERICAN VOICES: Happy New Year

• Pawn Shop Customer Plans To Buy Toaster Back

• 

  Neighborhood Kind Of Hoping Panera Bread Shows Up And Plows Over Charming Local Bakery

• 

  Thousands More Dead In Continuing Iraq Victory

• 

  Not-So-Horrible Thing Happens In Iraq

• 

  INFOGRAPHIC: U.S. Ends Combat Operations In Iraq

• 

  Newly Released Female Iraqi Prisoners OfferedPlayboy Spread

• 

  'Well, You Try To Reconstruct Iraq,' Says U.S. Defensive Dept.

• 

  U.S. Troops Draw Up Own Exit Strategy

• 

  Bush Says He Still Believes Iraq War Was The Fun Thing To Do

• 

  Christmas Brought To Iraq By Force

• 

  VIDEO: In The Know: How Can We Make The War In Iraq More Eco-Friendly?

• 

  Dead Iraqi Would Have Loved Democracy

• 

  INFOGRAPHIC: Hollywood Vs. The War

• 

  Retired Gen. George Washington Criticizes Bush's Handling Of Iraq War

• Insurgent Secretly Terrified Of Winning Control Of Iraq

• 

  Bush On North Korea: 'We Must Invade Iraq'

• 

  INFOGRAPHIC: $87 Billion For Iraq

• 

  U.S. Troops In Iraq Excited To Finally Return To Afghanistan

VIDEO

Surgeon General: Smoking Fine As Long As You Only Do It When You Drink

2011 Top Story: Japanese Nuclear Reactor Totally Safe Says Two-Headed Plant Official

Traveling Group Of Medieval Mummers Is America's Top Pick For Holiday Entertainment

OPINION

• Fracking Causing Earthquakes?01.05

• We're All Doomed 01.04

• Some Organics Not Green 01.04

• My Kids Are Learning How To Drive…Me Up The Wall! 01.03

LOCAL

• Huh, College Friend A Republican 01.05

• Levi McShane 01.05

• New Prescription-Only Sandwich Extra Delicious 01.05

• Dead Werewolf Apparently Allergic To Peanuts 01.04

ENTERTAINMENT

• Zero To Hero 01.04

• 'These Last Two Are Gonna Be Real Turds,' George R.R. Martin Assures Fans 01.04

• Cam Wright 01.03

• Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 3, 2012 01.03

SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY

• Fracking Causing Earthquakes?01.05

• Surgeon General: Smoking Fine As Long As You Only Do It When You Drink 01.03

• 2011 Top Story: Japanese Nuclear Reactor Totally Safe Says Two-Headed Plant Official01.02

• NASA, NASCAR Merge 12.19

SPORTS

• NHL Tries To Pass Off Commercial Flight As Flyover For Winter Classic 01.04

• Presidential Fitness Test Now Awarded To Any Kid Who Can Eat Without Sweating 01.03

• UFC Fan Knows What All Those Guys' Names Are 01.02

• 'You Idiots Would Like That,' Jay Cutler Says To Bears Fans After Completing Pass 12.25

POLITICS

• Best Debate Moments 01.05

• Man Suspected Of Being Bumbling Spy 01.05

• Obama Openly Asks Nation Why On Earth He Would Want To Serve For Another Term 01.04

• 600-Pound Butter Cow Sculpture Wins Iowa Caucus 01.03

AMERICAN VOICES »

Fracking Causing Earthquakes?

“There is simply no science I will ever choose to believe in that supports that idea.”

Facebook

MEET OTHER ONION READERS

I'm a: Man Woman

Looking for a: Man Woman

Age: 18–35 35–49 49+

Zipcode

more personals »

• Ho Ho Ho! I Saw You Masturbating!
• Dept. Of Homeland Security Cologne
• Oprah Viewers Patiently Awaiting Instructions
• Put Off Doing Something Extraordinary